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Jewish Dictionary Extracts
AFIKOMMENTS n. Adult arguing that occurs as children
search for hidden Passover matzo.
BAGELA n. A gay Jewish baker.
BIALY ACHE n. The result of lunch at your mother's and
dinner at your mother-in-law's.
BLINTZKRIEG n. A late-night assault on the
refrigerator in search of leftovers even though "I
won't be able to eat for a week!" Particularly common
four to six hours after special-occasion gluttony.
BUBBEGUM n. Sweets one's mother gives to her
grandchildren that she never gave to her own children.
CHUTZPAPA n. A father who wakes his wife at 4 a.m. so
she can change the baby's nappy.
DEJA NU n. Having the feeling you've seen the same
exasperated look on your mother's face but not knowing
exactly when.
DISKVELLIFIED vb. To drop out of law school, medical
school, or business
school, as seen through the eyes of parents,
grandparents, and Uncle Sid. (In extreme cases, simply
choosing to study art history when Irvine's son,
David, is studying biology, is sufficient grounds for
diskvellification.)
DISORIYENTA n. When Aunt Sadie gets lost in a
department store and strikes up a conversation with
everyone she passes.
HEBORT vb. To forget all the Hebrew one ever learned
immediately after one's Bar Mitzvah.
HEBRUTE n. Israeli after shave.
HINDSTEIN n. A Semitic smart-ass.
IMPASTA n. Someone who eats leavened foods during
Passover while maintaining he/she is observant.
JEWBILATION n. Pride in finding out that one's
favourite celebrity is Jewish.
JEWDO n. A traditional form of self-defence based on
talking one's way out of a tight spot.
KINDERSCHLEP vb. To be called on to car pool more
children than one has fingers, in a car that was made
in Japan.
MAMATZAH BALLS n. Matzo balls that are as good as
mother used to make.
MATZILATION n. Smashing a piece of matzo to bits while
trying to butter it.
MEINSTEIN slang. "My son, the genius."
MINYASTICS n. Going to incredible lengths to find a
tenth person to complete a minyan.
MISHPOCHAMARKS n. The assorted lipstick and makeup
stains found on one's face and collar after kissing
all one's aunts and cousins at a reception.
RE-SHTETLEMENT n. Moving from Leyton to Edgware and
finding all your old neighbours live in the same road
as you.
SANTASHMANTA n. The explanation Jewish children get
for when they celebrate Hanukkah while the rest of
humanity celebrates Christmas.
SCHLERM n. The wrinkled end of a Blooms salami.
SCHMUCKLUCK n. Finding out one's wife became pregnant
after one had a vasectomy.
SHOFARSOGUT n. The relief you feel when after many
attempts the shofar is finally blown at the end of Yom
Kippur.
TORAHFIED n. Inability to remember one's lines when
called to read from the Torah at one's Bar or Bat
Mitzvah.
TRAYFFIC ACCIDENT n. An appetiser one finds out has
pork in it after one has eaten it.
YENTILITY n. A deceptively sweet manner used to
extract information. Key phrases include "Trust me",
"Your secret is safe with me," and "If you can't tell
me, who can you tell?"
YIDENTIFY vb. To be able to determine ethnic origins
of celebrities even though their names might be St.
John, Curtis, Davis, or Taylor |
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Aharon's
Jewish Books and Judaica
600 South Holly Street Suite 103
Denver, Colorado 80246
303-322-7345
800-830-8660
Map to Aharon's Jewish Books and Judaica
Store Hours
Monday
through Thursday 9 AM to 8 PM
Friday 9 AM to 1 PM
Sunday 9 AM to 4 PM |
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